Posted on: May 6, 2020 Posted by: NeedMag Comments: 0

Today’s topic has several names – friends with benefits, midnight rendezvous,  sex calls, and more. Call them what you will, but they are all essentially booty  calls.

Perhaps you’ve been in this situation – you and a “friend” or  acquaintance agree that you’re both horny, so why not?

As we all know, after you  do it the first time, it’s much easier the second, so all of a sudden the  situation becomes escalated.

The one-night stand becomes a routine booty call.  Can a booty all ever become more?

In a word – no. HOLD UP! WAIT! Before you begin writing your missives detailing  your successful relationships, I fully acknowledge that it CAN work out, but  those situations are rare.

It CAN turn out that both of you have feelings for  one another, etc., and you live happily ever after, blah, blah, blah.

But I read  your hundreds of letters on this subject, and most of you say, no, this  situation is too tricky and has little hope. So let’s discuss.

Hard to believe, but not all people establish guidelines when entering a sex  call situation.

This is significant! If you truly, truly are only interested in  a physical relation- ship, you have a duty to CLEARLY express that to your  partner, however long you intend to continue relations.

Make sure you both have the same intentions and are on the same page before you begin. These situations are difficult enough without muddying the waters like this. On the other hand…

This is where it becomes pretty tricky. Sex changes every- thing. You might  think you can “handle” it, that it won’t affect you, or that you TRULY are only  in it for the nookie, but no one knows how they will react after slipping  between the sheets, bouncing on the couch, or bonking against the wall, wherever  you do the deed 🙂

You could sleep with a “friend”, going into the situation  with purely physical intentions, but wind up feeling completely different. The  point is, you can’t predict how you’ll feel.

Now imagine this: you realize you DO feel differently, that perhaps you ARE  interested in pursuing a relationship with this person. Ah, ah, wait a minute! 

The disclaimer is already out there. You’ve already established this was only  going to be physical, so back up, buddy. Now are you pondering the situation. 

How can this friend be so intimate with you and not want more? You obviously  care about each other, right? I’ve seen and read about COUNTLESS situations  where one or both people get hurt in a booty call situation.

One piece of advice  – if you know going into it that you have ANY SLIVER OF EMOTIONAL feelings for  the person, BACK OFF.

If you harbour feelings for your booty call, but he/she  doesn’t reciprocate, leave before the potential for getting hurt escalates even further.

And think about this: before you engage in action, consider all the possible  consequences.

How are you going to feel when you see this person in a social  setting, with a NEW partner, or simply overlooking you?

It probably won’t feel  that swell. Remember, booty calls theoretically don’t talk about how their day  went, share holidays, and go on traditional dates. The potential for one person  to get hurt is quite high.

But again, you can’t predict how you are going to  react. Sex changes everything.

One last thought – it started out as only a booty call for a reason.

Before you send off a thousand letters insisting a booty call relationship can  blossom into more, HOLD UP, because I indeed know it can. I personally know  several couples who have wound up married who started off this way.

But I also  have read about and seen waaaay more in the opposite corner. Life is a gamble,  right? So all I can say is do what you think is best for you, guard your heart  (but not too much), and appreciate what you have.

What are YOUR feelings on this  subject? I can’t wait to put together our reader comments issue this week!!!